Two children who spent their early years in the same orphanage in Vidin, Bulgaria sat beside each other poolside at a Disney resort this week. It was a sight to see! They both met their adoptive parents in January 2014, within days of each other. The following summer they both began new lives when they left Vidin with these bewildered, desperately hopeful parents and boarded planes to America.
Nathaniel’s wonderful parents made time for a short visit with us during their vacation to Disney World. We were seriously inspired by them! They had four beautiful biological kids before following God’s call to bring home not just one, but two sons from Bulgaria. Nathaniel is their youngest.
The bond created by adopting children from the same institution is interesting. I felt like I already knew Misty through a Facebook group that we both frequented during the adoption process. It was bizarre sitting by a pool at Disney World sharing the different fragments of knowledge we possess about our children’s early lives.
Neither of our families knew the magnitude of the challenge that awaited us after the thrilling moment of busting our new child out of the orphanage gate. It was super encouraging to hear Misty say that they were just as shocked as we were by the reality of the special needs – and that siblings who thought they were gaining a playmate were in for a surprise. Nathaniel has some medical special needs – some of which were not documented – while Kami’s special needs are everything but medical. God reminded me through seeing Nathaniel and Kami together that He gave each family the exact needs that they could handle. And not only that, He is actively guiding each of us in how to best care for them while also considering our own parental needs and limitations.
Perhaps most inspiring was meeting all of Nathaniel’s siblings! Man, they were super cool. Each of them had the opportunity to travel to Bulgaria with their parents during the family’s second adoption. There is just something awesome about kids who are siblings to special needs adoptees. They’re a few years older than our crew, and they gave me a glimpse into the depth of understanding, compassion and maturity that the adoption journey can instill in siblings.
Another realization I had during this poolside meeting was that, despite my frustration about what Kami can’t yet verbalize about her years in Vidin, she can verbalize some things. You know how every parent deals with comparisons? It exists in the realm of adoption, too. A dear friend adopted a little boy from Bulgaria around the same time we got Kami, and it seemed to me like this bright little guy was speaking in full, coherent English sentences within days. Of course, I began to wonder, “Man! When will Kami be able to speak like that?” Well, only God knows if she ever will communicate that way; but I can be grateful for the level of communication that she does have. I remember our translator/social worker emailing me from Bulgaria about one year after our adoption to tell us that the fact Kami was starting to speak in sentences was totally amazing. Coming from her background of gross neglect, pharmaceutical abuse, and emotional deprivation, speaking at all (much less in sentences) seemed like a huge and unlikely achievement. It just goes to show that nothing is impossible with God.
It’s easier for me to survey the big picture at the end of the day, when everyone is in bed. From this vantage point, I can see that although the struggles are raw and draining, they pale compared to the deep satisfaction of knowing that God is using our lives for something BIG. In this sense, the struggle is supremely worth it. Yes, we still feel pangs of grief from time to time about our old life; but these days I more often find myself in awe watching the story unfold.
Misty, thank you for sharing your family with us for a couple of brief hours! We learned from you and were inspired by each member of your family.
All this talk of Kami’s early years makes me want to share with you the one “baby” photo we have of her. She was 3. It would still be another 4 long years before she would know the love of her family.
Finally, here is the image that started it all. I scrolled past it on a list of waiting children in 2013, then scrolled back up to take a closer look because something about her caught my eye. The rest, as they say, is history.
Are you willing to view photos of waiting children around the world, perhaps even ones with special needs? I will warn you, it’s not for the faint of heart. You might sense God calling you to do something about it. You’ll find some of their faces and stories here. But be encouraged: He will be with you every step of the way if you say yes!
Receiving this Scripture (1 Peter 4:10-11) from a fellow special needs mom recently encouraged me, and I hope it encourages you, too:
God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another. Do you have the gift of speaking? Then speak as though God himself were speaking through you. Do you have the gift of helping others? Do it with all the strength and energy that God supplies. Then everything you do will bring glory to God through Jesus Christ.